fille_fatale | ( IC CONTACT )

[She can feel all those old frustrations milling around in her gut, and she lets go of his arm completely. Selina can understand not wanting to give someone what they want, it's kind of her modus operendi - but practicality is, too.]

Was Gordon there with a gun and cuffs? I mean, what was the other option?

[She's filling in pieces, as she usually does, too fast and not very fairly. She just assumes that he was in some kind of danger, and saved himself, because isn't that always how these things go?]

[He shook his head. Frowning in deep thought. Simultaneously trying to suppress rising memories and see through the haze of fog still clouding that moment.]

No. Detective Gordon wasn't there. Not until after. Just in time for him and Alfred to see what I did.

[It had been just him and Ra's. The soft glow of light illuminating their faces amidst surrounding shadows. Ra's voice. Light and in control. Speaking of...of disappearing. Of Bruce growing up in the light. Living a life happy and free. Becoming a husband and a father. Only...]

He threatened my family. The one...the one I could have. Some day. If he were to have left me alone. Leave until I spent long enough forgetting about him that I wouldn't be ready. And I was filled with so much hate. I hated him. I wanted him to die....

So I killed him.

[She doesn't have it in her to be horrified by death, not this kind of death. Selina knows him - knew him, maybe, and that kind of hurts to think in past tense, in a way she doesn't really want to consider - and she gets it, sort of, why he's reacting like this, why killing the guy who basically set him on this path ruined whatever higher purpose he thought he had.

She gets it. But she thinks it's pretty ridiculous, all the same.

Dropping her arms from around him entirely, Selina just looks up at him with something close to her usual annoyed bewilderment, when they have disagreements like this.]

So he had your parents killed, and he threatened whatever family you'll have eventually, and you feel bad about this? Bruce, seriously, you did yourself a favor!

Then why do I feel so...empty?

[He looked over to her with an unfocused gaze. Drink and memories and her sudden lack of embrace and everything out in the open now. She Knew. She knew and she didn't understand, but she also had yet to reject him for it.]

[Maybe she'll never understand. It wouldn't be such a surprise: there's been plenty they just don't get about each other. Not always this big, but...

The lack of focus in his eyes is worrisome, but - she's not his caretaker, right? She came out tonight to see what the hell was really up with him and to maybe slap some sense into him, and she's almost done both. That's it, that's all she owes him. That's all she wants to give him.

When she rolls her eyes, it's more at herself than him.]

I don't know, B. How would you feel when you're forty and looking at your dead wife and kids? Would that be worse?

[It would feel worse. He knew that. So, so much worse. He knew because he'd thought it over in his mind a hundred times since then. Which was the only reason he even had a comeback at all, weak as his voice sounded when he uttered the words:]

He wouldn't be able to hurt them...if they didn't exist.

[If he never married. If he never had any children.]

[This time, the eye roll is all for him.]

Yeah, great plan. What about Alfred, do you think this guy would just wait for you to outlive him? Or friends, or people you work with - what's the idea, be a freaking hermit, never talk to another person just to keep him from winning?

[She cocks her head to the side, unimpressed.]

You know how that ends, right?

Alfred can fight. He taught me how to fight.

[He deliberately mentioned Alfred specifically, although he supposed the same would apply to Detective Gordon. To a degree.]

I can think of three guys just from the Narrows who could kill him.

[And if street trash like her knows who to go to, then someone who could get the Waynes killed can probably manage a lot more.]

It doesn't matter - he'd start killing strangers, say it's your fault, and that would still get you.

[It's like she told his clone: Bruce wouldn't just try to save one person. He'd save everyone. She knows him.]

[He looked ready to argue. To protect Alfred's reputation and defend his honor because he didn't truly believe the people Selina was thinking of could really kill him.]

[...but then she continued on, and the fire soon left his eyes. Selina would see the moment his shoulders slumped in defeat. The fight to his argument fading into the night.]

You're right.

[He didn't feel close to feeling better. But he was willing to admit that much because he had no counter. And if he had no counter, then clearly it was because she was right. Right?]

Yeah, I am.

[Right. Selina liked being right. She doesn't so much like the slump in his shoulders this time, but everything has its price.

Damn it.]

So shake it off already. You did the only thing you could do.

[If only it were that easy. He lifted his gaze to look to her again, but his expression barely changed.]

How did you?

[Shake it off. She had killed before. It had been...not completely dissimilar to Bruce situation, although he did consider there to be a huge difference between pushing someone out a window in momentary desperation as opposed to driving cold, hard steel through someone's heart and watching the life fade from them.]

[There's plenty different - in the situations, the victims, them. She doesn't know how to answer at first, so she shrugs.]

It's not like he was someone I cared about. He was gonna screw you over, maybe get you killed. [He was going to do it where she couldn't look out for him, too.]

I told you, gotta me ruthless out here. [She gestures vaguely down, toward the city.] Ain't a lotta point in punishing yourself for what you have to do.

[His eyes followed her gesturing, although they lingered on the city skyline for a long moment. Seeing behind the dotted lights and seemingly perpetual shadows and the movement constantly shifting between the two. Seeing the city for what it was. What it always had been. What it could be.]

[What it probably never would.]

I wish you didn't have to. [He was frowning now, although it was a slight improvement from the defeated expression a moment prior.] I wish none of us had to. That Gotham wasn't a place where you have to kill to protect the ones you love.

It shouldn't...it shouldn't have to be this way.

Yeah, well.

[She's not sure what's caught his attention - sure, sometimes the city still entrances her when she's up somewhere high, like this, but she didn't really think the lights caught his attention the same way. Glancing between his expression and the skyline, Selina arches her eyebrows.]

That's the way it is. Not like we're gonna change anything.

[He was thinking. About...thoughts that were not new to him, but were now being thought in a slightly new light. With a new perspective. And an even deeper understanding about the heart of their city than ever before.]

Maybe.

[She makes a face at him.]

What's that supposed to mean? [She doesn't like not knowing what he means.]

[He didn't answer.]

[For a time, he didn't even look at her. Didn't move. He might as well not have heard her at all, even though they both knew he did. When he finally did turn back, he looked far more exhausted than he had before. But the kind that came with a release of adrenaline. A weight no longer quite so heavy on his shoulders. Not gone--he had a feeling its presence would linger for a long time to come--but he felt like he could actually come up for air.]

I'm glad you came tonight.

[She very nearly loses her patience, shifts her weight to walk away when he finally deigns to acknowledge her again.

It cools her ire some. Enough. Lucky him. Besides - he looks more...like himself.]

Oh good, you're acting normal-weird again.

[He did smirk a little at that.]

Is there any 'normal' without the 'weird' for you?

With you? [She pulls a face, considering for half a second before shaking her head.]

Doubt it.

In other words, you're convinced I come only in varying degrees of 'weird'.

[It was either the lingering drink or the heaviness of the prior conversation that made this one seem so...inconsequential. He couldn't bring himself to feel offended.]

Yeah, because it's true.

[It is inconsequential. It's even a little fun, something that - well, he used to be sorely missing. She's kind of been missing it, too.]

I can be normal.

[See him, being underaged drunk? That counted as normal, didn't it? ~~If one ignored the fact that he got this way by buying the club~~]

[How is she supposed to ignore that very important tidbit?? Most kids have to work harder than that. She shakes her head at him.]

You make normal look weird.

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