fille_fatale | ( IC CONTACT )

[That was...quite the strong grip Selina had on his arm. Which was now notably pressed to his chest in such a manner that it was definitely her doing and not his. Which meant he had to think on his feet, less she find someway to turn this back around him, and--]

[...and none of that seemed to bother him much. Because with his arm trapped like that, it also meant she had pulled him close to her. Very close. Seeing his reflection in her eyes close.]

I'm okay with mine.

Yeah, that's why you're lucky I'm around.

[The breeze picks up, and she lets go of his arm with one hand so she can press it against his back and pull him closer. It's mostly to protect her against the wind and the chill. Mostly.]

Hey.

[She tips her head back, some of the humor fading as she remembers why she decided to come in the first place. Maybe it's the wind, reminding her that there's more out there than a night of too many shots.]

What I said earlier. [She's not sorry: Selina doesn't do much apologizing, anyway.] You're not a spoiled brat. You don't have to pretend.

[He accepted her non-apology all the same, though he didn't seem inclined toe agree with her.]

Yes. I do.

Pretending is easier. Don't have to think about who I really am. Or the things I've done.

I know who you are.

[She means to tell him that he doesn't have to pretend with her, but the words are harder to find right now. Instead, she reaches up to run her fingers through his hair, compromising by tucking one lock back into place.

She can be nice, when she wants to be.

...But that doesn't stop her laughing at him, a quiet huff.]

What've you done?

[She can't believe that it could be so terrible - after all, she's killed for him, because he couldn't do it himself. Reggie's death isn't something Selina loses sleep over.]

[He expected her to laugh. In fact, he almost liked the fact that she did. That Selina, of all people, still saw the old him. Before. That she would have such a hard time believing he was even capable of half his crimes.]

[But the drink was loosening his tongue far more than his normal discipline would have preferred.]

You wouldn't understand. [Him. The shadow in his eyes as he thought back to that moment. It wasn't that she wouldn't understand the situation so much as...] Why I changed. The choices I made since...you and I were last on a roof together.

'm not sure I understand.

[She always thought he had too many inhibitions. Maybe all this was good for him, after all, though Selina still doesn't like being told she wouldn't understand. The annoyance at it is easy to call on, ready to turn into an anger that she can throw back in his face.

The shadow in his eyes gives her pause, and then he keeps going. The annoyance fades a little, and she leans back to get a better look at him.]

I don't understand the change at all. You could at least tell me why. Cause you kind of remind me of your clone, and--

[She trails off: her last meeting with not-Bruce is something she never got around to telling him about, and God knows what Alfred told him. It's not something she's interested in telling him, either, especially not while her tongue is feeling loose.]

Just tell me what happened. Can't be as bad as you're making it.

I'm not a clone.

[Although he didn't sound so determined to make the distinction as he might once have. The "other" Bruce Wayne might have done some terrible things and aligned himself with the wrong people...nearly killed Alfred...but, really, was that any worse than the thing Bruce himself had done since.]

[And he didn't want to tell her. But she kept asking and insisting it wasn't bad and the alcohol was challenging that part of his brain that felt...competitive wasn't quite the word. But a sudden urge to prove her wrong.]

Found the person who ordered my parents' death.

[A pause. That was clearly not the whole story, but he wanted to see how many puzzle pieces from there she could guess. Selina was smart, and she also knew him...but just how well, he wondered.]

[She thought he'd be more insistent about it, and there's just a moment where panic prickles the back of her neck - but the high smooths it over, makes it less of a concern. He's not the clone - and besides, she can tell when he's lying. Maybe it's just the buzz making her more confident, but she believes it.]

Yeah?

[It's an invitation to go on, one she doesn't think he'll take. So even as she asks, her thoughts spin ahead: what's the worst thing that could come of that?

Well, plenty, but the point should be, what's the worst thing to Bruce?

It takes a second longer than it should, because the thought occurs and then is dismissed - twice, first because she doesn't think it's a big deal, and again because it's just not like him.

But. The way he's acting? How much he's grown - how much he's spent looking for this person?

Yeah. He could do it. But she doesn't let it make her recoil: she never liked him because he was some perfect little rich boy, she liked him because he was - messed up. Like her.]

All this cause you killed him? Jesus, B. He literally ruined your life so, what, you're just gonna finish the job for him?

[Of course she would figure it out. Except...he wasn't sure what he'd expected in terms of a reaction, but hers felt...almost underwhelming. He couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Not anymore. On the one hand, she didn't turn away from him in disgust. On the other...she seemed a little too okay with the idea.]

[Maybe not thrilled, no, but this is what he meant when he said she wouldn't understand. Not just what he'd done, but why. And why it was tearing him apart.]

He wanted me to. He wanted his life to be over and I gave him exactly what he wanted.

He manipulated me into breaking the one promise I never wanted to break.

[She can feel all those old frustrations milling around in her gut, and she lets go of his arm completely. Selina can understand not wanting to give someone what they want, it's kind of her modus operendi - but practicality is, too.]

Was Gordon there with a gun and cuffs? I mean, what was the other option?

[She's filling in pieces, as she usually does, too fast and not very fairly. She just assumes that he was in some kind of danger, and saved himself, because isn't that always how these things go?]

[He shook his head. Frowning in deep thought. Simultaneously trying to suppress rising memories and see through the haze of fog still clouding that moment.]

No. Detective Gordon wasn't there. Not until after. Just in time for him and Alfred to see what I did.

[It had been just him and Ra's. The soft glow of light illuminating their faces amidst surrounding shadows. Ra's voice. Light and in control. Speaking of...of disappearing. Of Bruce growing up in the light. Living a life happy and free. Becoming a husband and a father. Only...]

He threatened my family. The one...the one I could have. Some day. If he were to have left me alone. Leave until I spent long enough forgetting about him that I wouldn't be ready. And I was filled with so much hate. I hated him. I wanted him to die....

So I killed him.

[She doesn't have it in her to be horrified by death, not this kind of death. Selina knows him - knew him, maybe, and that kind of hurts to think in past tense, in a way she doesn't really want to consider - and she gets it, sort of, why he's reacting like this, why killing the guy who basically set him on this path ruined whatever higher purpose he thought he had.

She gets it. But she thinks it's pretty ridiculous, all the same.

Dropping her arms from around him entirely, Selina just looks up at him with something close to her usual annoyed bewilderment, when they have disagreements like this.]

So he had your parents killed, and he threatened whatever family you'll have eventually, and you feel bad about this? Bruce, seriously, you did yourself a favor!

Then why do I feel so...empty?

[He looked over to her with an unfocused gaze. Drink and memories and her sudden lack of embrace and everything out in the open now. She Knew. She knew and she didn't understand, but she also had yet to reject him for it.]

[Maybe she'll never understand. It wouldn't be such a surprise: there's been plenty they just don't get about each other. Not always this big, but...

The lack of focus in his eyes is worrisome, but - she's not his caretaker, right? She came out tonight to see what the hell was really up with him and to maybe slap some sense into him, and she's almost done both. That's it, that's all she owes him. That's all she wants to give him.

When she rolls her eyes, it's more at herself than him.]

I don't know, B. How would you feel when you're forty and looking at your dead wife and kids? Would that be worse?

[It would feel worse. He knew that. So, so much worse. He knew because he'd thought it over in his mind a hundred times since then. Which was the only reason he even had a comeback at all, weak as his voice sounded when he uttered the words:]

He wouldn't be able to hurt them...if they didn't exist.

[If he never married. If he never had any children.]

[This time, the eye roll is all for him.]

Yeah, great plan. What about Alfred, do you think this guy would just wait for you to outlive him? Or friends, or people you work with - what's the idea, be a freaking hermit, never talk to another person just to keep him from winning?

[She cocks her head to the side, unimpressed.]

You know how that ends, right?

Alfred can fight. He taught me how to fight.

[He deliberately mentioned Alfred specifically, although he supposed the same would apply to Detective Gordon. To a degree.]

I can think of three guys just from the Narrows who could kill him.

[And if street trash like her knows who to go to, then someone who could get the Waynes killed can probably manage a lot more.]

It doesn't matter - he'd start killing strangers, say it's your fault, and that would still get you.

[It's like she told his clone: Bruce wouldn't just try to save one person. He'd save everyone. She knows him.]

[He looked ready to argue. To protect Alfred's reputation and defend his honor because he didn't truly believe the people Selina was thinking of could really kill him.]

[...but then she continued on, and the fire soon left his eyes. Selina would see the moment his shoulders slumped in defeat. The fight to his argument fading into the night.]

You're right.

[He didn't feel close to feeling better. But he was willing to admit that much because he had no counter. And if he had no counter, then clearly it was because she was right. Right?]

Yeah, I am.

[Right. Selina liked being right. She doesn't so much like the slump in his shoulders this time, but everything has its price.

Damn it.]

So shake it off already. You did the only thing you could do.

[If only it were that easy. He lifted his gaze to look to her again, but his expression barely changed.]

How did you?

[Shake it off. She had killed before. It had been...not completely dissimilar to Bruce situation, although he did consider there to be a huge difference between pushing someone out a window in momentary desperation as opposed to driving cold, hard steel through someone's heart and watching the life fade from them.]

[There's plenty different - in the situations, the victims, them. She doesn't know how to answer at first, so she shrugs.]

It's not like he was someone I cared about. He was gonna screw you over, maybe get you killed. [He was going to do it where she couldn't look out for him, too.]

I told you, gotta me ruthless out here. [She gestures vaguely down, toward the city.] Ain't a lotta point in punishing yourself for what you have to do.

[His eyes followed her gesturing, although they lingered on the city skyline for a long moment. Seeing behind the dotted lights and seemingly perpetual shadows and the movement constantly shifting between the two. Seeing the city for what it was. What it always had been. What it could be.]

[What it probably never would.]

I wish you didn't have to. [He was frowning now, although it was a slight improvement from the defeated expression a moment prior.] I wish none of us had to. That Gotham wasn't a place where you have to kill to protect the ones you love.

It shouldn't...it shouldn't have to be this way.

Yeah, well.

[She's not sure what's caught his attention - sure, sometimes the city still entrances her when she's up somewhere high, like this, but she didn't really think the lights caught his attention the same way. Glancing between his expression and the skyline, Selina arches her eyebrows.]

That's the way it is. Not like we're gonna change anything.

[He was thinking. About...thoughts that were not new to him, but were now being thought in a slightly new light. With a new perspective. And an even deeper understanding about the heart of their city than ever before.]

Maybe.

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